I recently completed traffic school, after receiving a ticket which I totally blamed on the other participant in the infraction: the camera at the intersection.
Brimming with traffic facts, I have selected five of the most important quiz questions and provided them below as a little refresher course for you, my fellow driver. I know you are a very busy person, so I recommend you print out this quiz, and the next time you have a few spare minutes, like when you are stuck in traffic, please fill it out.
1. If two vehicles arrive at an intersection at the same time, the driver _________ has the right of way.
a) who did not stop
b) who is communicating
c) with the best agent
d) -less car
2. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that 25% of crashes each year involve some form of driver distraction, like cell phone use, and the other 75% involve:
a) people putting cell phones away
b) people completely focused on the road who are attacked by pelicans
c) liberals listening to Rush Limbaugh
d) Rush Limbaugh
3. Motorcyclists are involved in a large number of traffic accidents because:
a) motorcyclists are worth 10 points
b) it is hard to see motorcyclists when you are on a conference call
c) motorcyclists only have the two wheels
d) bees are attracted to leather pants
4. High beam headlights may only be used when:
a) you are high on Jim Beam
b) Rush Limbaugh totally cuts you off
c) you need to communicate with the mother ship
d) the night has come, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we'll see
5. What causes more deaths in the US each year than motor vehicles?
b) watching "Super Nanny" while in possession of a firearm
c) playing ultimate circular saw blade Frisbee
By studying the rules of the road, I re-learned some very important things. For example, your car's horn should only be used to warn other drivers of a possible danger, like the fact that you will kill them if they do not get out of your way.
So I promise never, ever again to drive stupidly, endangering others with my self-centered habits. Being late to work is not the worst thing in the world.
That would be traffic school.
Now roll down your window, pass this to the driver on your left, and see how you did.