When you think of a loving person you probably envision someone gazing at you with kindness in their eyes, a gentle smile on their face, and their arms open, welcoming you into their loving hug.
Well, that's one side of love. But there's another side of love that's not so wonderful.
Each time we're birthed onto this planet we come here for the purpose of having experiences from which we learn. The way we humans are wired is that we seem to learn more from the negative experiences than the happy, warm, loving experiences.
We can not have these learning experiences all by ourselves, so we enlist the aid of others to help us. We create contracts or agreements with others who will assist us in having the experiences we need in order to learn about whatever it's we're going to learn this lifetime.
Some of those contracts are personal, such as difficult relationships with parents or mates. In each relationship, both parties are teaching and both are learning. For example, the abuser may be learning about how power can be misused and become destructive. The victim may be learning about the effects of giving their power away to others and the damaging effects this causes to them.
Some contracts are global, created as a result of the collective consciousness of humanity desiring a particular experience. When this happens, the human collective is given the opportunity to take a giant step forward in evolution. An example is Hitler. As a result of the catastrophic horrors he created, humanity gained a new level of awareness and compassion which will never be forgotten.
Whether the experience is personal or global, in each of them there's a Bad Guy who's abusive, harmful, destructive, horrid, mean, nasty, vile … well, you get the picture.
This Bad Guy is actually the other side of love.
When a parent tells a child "No" to their request for something that's not good for them, the child thinks the parent is the Bad Guy.
The truth is that it takes a lot of love to agree to be the Bad Guy just so another person can have an experience and learn from it. Saying "No" to your child is not easy. Being abusive to someone you love is not easy. Being hated by the world is not easy either. But in all cases, the Higher Purpose of the Bad Guy is to help you learn what you wished. Bad Guys are only being bad because they love you so much, and because it's what you asked of them.
Know this: no one wants to be the Bad Guy.
The parent does not want to make their child unhappy. But they know that too much candy will make them sick. It's worse for the parent to see their child sick than eating the candy then having the child somewhat unhappy with them for saying "No". The abuser does not enjoy being mean to their mate what they love. But they agreed to do so in order that their beloved mate had an opportunity to learn what they wished.
This does not give patent approval for behavior harmful to others. This is meant to give you another perspective of people who have harmed you in the past so that you might glean the learning from the experience they are lovingly brave you.
Once you do so, you go beyond forgiveness. You begin to feel appreciation for how much it hurt them to hurt you and gratitude for the gift of love that they brave you. You gain new awareness of how much they love you. And you begin to feel true love for them … the love that goes beyond human boundaries.